A Tribute To A Great Man - My Dad

Many people have commented on the wonderful eulogy my brother Jay delivered at my Dads funeral last month and how they wish they had a copy.  As the only family member with a website or blog this is where it makes its home.

Eulogy of John Anthony Eugene Nevin

Hi everyone and thanks for coming. Dad would be proud. Sometimes, being the eldest can be a privilege and, I am privileged to do Dads eulogy today. I am positive that the others could've done it, but I'm happy that I have got the guernsey.  

I need to start with some thank yous. Father Pat Vaughan, you were the family’s first choice to be celebrant for today's Requiem Mass.  We are so glad you were able to do this for the Nevin family today.

Thank you Hammond Care for providing excellent care and nursing staff for the last 10 years of Johnny’s life. If anyone is here today from Chesalon respite and IRT day-care we also thank you for supporting Dad in recent years.

I have some important apologies.  From Barry and Ellen Facer who are overseas, Gary and Angel Andrews -World Bookers from Coffs Harbour, Susie and Jean Christie from the Gold Coast and from Father Bernie Frize and Reg Saunders two long-standing mates who were unable to make it today.  A big thank you to the overseas travellers arriving today.  Rob Salisbury from Singapore, Graham Nichols from New Zealand, Yvonne Collier flew in from Perth and dozens came from the eastern states.  Thank you all for coming.

Friends we should've been here years ago but for three people; Skye, Kellie, and Robyn Nevin.  Skye and Kellie (my two sisters) you are saints for keeping him going and you Mum I guess that makes you a re-incarnated Mother Teresa.  You three alone kept him going for the last decade.  I love the three of you and thank you.

Dad was born in 1938 the eldest son of Jack and Nell Nevin and a brother to Michael. Nelly was Lebanese, her family the Sobbs came to Australia 120 years ago. Dad was extremely proud of his Lebanese heritage and wore his cedar tree signet ring very proudly. Grandfather Jack was a publican at Boomi near Moree, and Sandy Hollow near Muswellbrook. Dad was a border at Saint Joseph’s College Hunters Hill as were his three sons in the next generation.

Mum and Dad met at Sandy Hollow when he was 12 and she was eight. At the Nevins farewell when John was 19, Eileen, Robyn’s Mum said to John “You are not allowed get married until Robyn grows up!” It took a while but they married in 1963. At that stage Dad was Sporting Good's Manager at Walton's department store in Sydney.

Soon after in 1964 he started work for World Book Encyclopaedia, something that would change his life, and, some of yours who are here today, for ever.  Within ten years he went from Salesman to Queensland State Manager to Victorian State Manager, National Sales Manager and finally Australian Managing Director. He finally became Vice President of the US company and MD of Australia and South East Asia.  At his height he had 6500 sales reps and, guess what, he knew most of their names.

Mum and Dad had 53 years of wedded bliss but Dad used to play this wedding band gag when he travelled. He would place his wedding ring on the right hand and when people asked why he had the ring on wrong hand he'd say it's because I married the wrong woman. Mum and Dad had five kids Jay, Kellie, Stephen, Skye and Shannon. He has eight grandchildren my three kids Michael, Bronte and Natalia, Shannon has three boys Saxon, Noah and Isaac and Stephen's two beautiful girls Carys and Alex.  Dad was also blessed with three beautiful daughters-in-law Justine, Fiona and Rhian.

As Managing Director of World Book, Dad was able to diverse his interests. In the 1970s he started SWAP (Salesman With A Purpose). At its height there were over 2000 members in 36 clubs across Australia and New Zealand. In the mid-80s he started the National Speakers Association of Australia (NSAA). Both of these had a winning formula under Dad. He had started his own speaking career by then. His speaking ability led him to speak at company conferences all over the world. Companies like IBM, Raine & Horne, L. J. Hooker, and Digital and he never charged more than $1000 a talk. With his marvellous storytelling ability he had his audiences spellbound. You could hear a pin drop and many sales people would leave his talks knowing they would feel a sense of achievement out on the road that day. When Dad spoke he had the clarity of Barack Obama. That was my Dad. When I close my eyes I hear Dad every time the US president speaks. From Dads talks many Nevinisms were born.

“If it ain't broke don't fix it.”

“If a job is worth doing it's worth doing well.”

“Bite off more than you can chew and chew like hell.”

“Don’t rain on someone else's parade.”

“If you can't say something nice don't say anything at all.”        

By 1981 Dad was a self-made millionaire he was living the dream. He bought a pub at Molong in the New South Wales Central West and a horse stud just a few miles away.  His stallion was a US horse My Pal Houston.   We had 20 Aussie and New Zealand mares. By all accounts he was going to breed a Melbourne cup winner and tell a few lies about it at the bar at his hotel.

Sadly we had four years of drought on the farm and when they bought in random breath testing they dropped 50% in the bar. Don't get me wrong Mum and Dad were in favour of random breath testing and I think Mum was the only publications wife to send two clients to AA.

Within five years we were broke.

The only house Mum and Dad ever owned again was Ocean Street Narrabeen.

Mum was at the auction she rang Dad and he asked

“Is it near the beach?” Yes she said.

“Is it near the pub?” Yes she said.

“Is it near the TAB?” -  Yes

“Is it near the Catholic Church?” yeah she said

“Well what are you waiting for?”  Dad said – “Buy it!!”      

So Dad went back to World Book. It was a three year tenure and it ended badly. At that time Mum had Chronic Fatigue Syndrome.  Dad looked after her for 10 years.  

They rented for the 25 years and we never ever heard Mum or Dad complain… ever.  Dads Nevinisms became “C’est La Vie” and “Such is Life”.

So how did they get through it? It was the strength of their marriage and the closeness of family. Marriage was a big thing but to my Mum and Dad … sacrosanct. Their parents knocked up 110, Mum and Dad 53 years, and the three boys 45 years and counting. A great effort these days.  As Dad said at Shannon and Fiona's wedding “We come from a long line of love.”   

Family Christmases have always been massive for us. For the last 22 years as the kids have gotten married every second Christmas is a massive get together. The next one is next month. It will be sad that Dad won't be there, but great because we can reminisce. The Christmases in our younger days. Wow… the Minogue's, the Saunders, the Ommundsens. There would be so many presents under the Christmas tree. I know we would be treading on them as we danced around singing “Round and Round the Christmas tree.” … And lemon chicken, the only thing Dad could ever cook on the barbecue. I'm amazed we still all love lemon chicken. Then there was the malt whiskey. Whenever Johnny was asked what he would like for Christmas he would say “Oh just get me a bottle of malt whiskey.”

He also had this habit of putting on any clothes he got for Christmas. By the end of the present giving he looked a riot. One Christmas he got a singlet that said if you push this button my pants will fall off. All afternoon we kids were chasing him around trying to press that button… what wonderful memories. Those Christmas days….

At 7 AM Dad would be off visiting older relatives or any of his friends who may be ill. Then we'd be off to the Wayside Chapel to feed the homeless or maybe dress up as Santa to give presents to the needy at Saint Mary’s Manly.    He had the energy of a huge Duracell battery. Because then he would  entertain 20 people at home for the next 12 hours. He was the fun nucleus and we all loved him for it.    

Steve reminded me of one day we were visiting the Minogue's for a barbecue Dad had been away for two weeks in the US and Steve picked him up from Mascot. The Minogue's house backed onto a sportsground. We were all out having a game of cricket. John appeared at the gate, Robyn set off at a run followed by our five kids then Tony and Connie and their kids all racing over to hug Johnny, that was” Love Actually” 

For years with his job Dad was away a lot, but weekends were family time. Maybe a barbecue also with friends in our great rumpus room next to his cellar with 400 bottles of wine.  There was no BYO at the Nevins.  These were formative years as Steve and Shannon developed their first grade union and league careers. Mum and Dad never missed a game. Then on Sunday nights it was movie night and also time to watch the footy. God help anyone who told Dad the score.  At the heart of it all, Dad was a Conservative and proud to admit that title. He never voted Labour. He couldn’t stand joining clubs. Signing your name and address to buy a beer….Nope….Dad was a pub man!

He never missed Sunday Mass. Dad had a simple faith. He once told me to follow the 10 commandments. How hard can it be?  In every talk he ever gave he never failed to mention The Boss or JC.

Dad's Foxtel would be rugby league, cricket, or any horse racing.  Come on... he died on Derby day just so he could watch the Melbourne Cup in the front row.  Dad detested thong foot wear. We weren’t allowed to own any. He never let a woman open the car door.  He asked every waiter, waitress or barman their names and remembered them. At City SWAP he even knew the shoeshine boy, the barber and the barista.

Dad went to Anzac marches as a sign of respect. Dad always stood for the National Anthem as a sign of respect.  He called elderly ladies, girls, as a sign of respect.    There's no way my Dad would turn the boats back.

Dad couldn't stand lying he called it the worst trait a man could have. At Joeys my year master was Brother Jack Emile, he also taught Dad. He told me Dad got detention a lot but never for lying. One day he came into Br Jack's class very late. Brother Jack said “Nevin don't you know the bells gone.” Dad walked over to the window looked out and said “no it's not Brother I can still see it on the wall.”  That got him another detention.

As kids 50% of our corporal punishment, the standard ruler on the backside, was for lying. This provided yet another Nevinism. “ This is gonna hurt me a lot more than it hurts you.”  I'm sure he let few white ones sneak through over the years.

Dad and I went to Rosehill races for years. As we’d kiss Mum goodbye he tell her that if we won he'd buy a kilo of prawns. We often bought the prawns but some of those weeks I swear Dad didn't back a winner.  Another time we were off to the Dubbo races and running late we were pulled over by the Highway Patrol. Dad came over to me and said “Jay this policeman said I was doing 145 will you tell him we were doing 120?” I said “No”, he said “Why not?” I said “Because you were doing 155!!!”.  He paid the fine.   

Dad loved nicknames. You're lucky if you got one and it stuck. Bomber, Little One, Rocky, Sailor, One Way, Five Foot 19, Angel, Froggy, Puff, Oysters, Ocker,  Mick, Matey, Misty, Tiger and Skeeter, half of whom are here today.  Hello from Dad.

For over 40 years he has been sending people a birthday or anniversary card or maybe just something he tore out of the paper that he thought would interest you. He had a huge address book he carried with him everywhere. Many people have kept everything he ever sent them!  All those letters and notes!  Put your hand up if you never got one!

Often they were attached to a newspaper clipping of your name sake. Suddenly you were robbing a bank, being snapped by a photographer at a casino or night club, rolling your car or winning a Commonwealth Games gold medal!

Ask my son Michael about Kenny Koala. It took him years to work out that the notes were from his Pa!  ... and often written at 5 a.m. Every day he would beat us all out of bed.

Not to mention: 

• The pub crawls in Sydney 
• The meals at the East Ocean 
• The sing-alongs at the B.B.Q. King
• The charted plane trips to the Bedgerebong or Tomingley races
• The coffees after SWAP at the Hilton
• The holidays at Erowal Bay.

 But now as the reader of this eulogy it's my turn to mention moments when I was so immensely proud of my Dad.

One Easter in the late 70s Dad took us all to the Easter show. I guess Mum was looking after Shannon. The rest of us walked past the big 20 foot bell with men trying to drive the ball up to hit it with a mallet sledgehammer. The kids said "Come on Dad, come on Dad.”  I thought to myself, this could be embarrassing! Anyway, Dad took off his jacket and drove that ball almost through the bell! I was bursting with pride.

Once, Dad, Steve and I went to Mexico. We went for a look for a day and stayed a week!  One village we were at Dad was in his element with the locals. Drinking tequila, eating chillies, about 20 of them waved us off the next morning. We drove around all day, checked a few places out and at dusk, with Dads sense of direction… We ended up at the same village.!!  Fair dinkum, they threw a massive party, we were like long lost relative's... More tequila, more chillies.  We felt like Rock Stars!! 

Mum had her surprise 50th at the East Ocean in 1992. Dad got 200 people there... The split watermelon smile on his face when we showed her into the auditorium. He had pulled it off... The surprise! We were so proud of him and he was of himself to I reckon. 

Looking outside the church before and inside it now, I feel Dad everywhere. 

With Tony Minogue and Alan Delaney from the CYO... I see Dad there. 

With Anne-Marie Flanigan and Ann Faulkinder from World Book. – I see Dad there. 

With Peter Scarfo and Peter Thorpe from SWAP – I see Dad there.

With Wally Vecchiet  and John Pass from his racehorse owning days. - I see Dad there.

With Catherine Palin Brinkworth and David Nomchong from the NSAA. – I see Dad there.

With John Gavagna and Laurie Scolari from Joeys. – I see Dad there.

With Paul and Greg Sobb, Dads cousins. – I see Dad there.

With Bronte and Carys, his granddaughters. – I see Dad there

There is love and admiration everywhere!

I do feel a bit for the grandkids. My nephew Saxon, in a beautiful Facebook post, mentioned he couldn't remember a conversation with his Pa, but definitely learnt a lot from him.

My daughter Natalia, when she visited Dad with me six months ago, I told her on the train back to the airport, that for the first time I felt like he may not have known me that weekend.

She said, "Dad, I am 19 and I do not have a memory of Pa being well."

I guess they can thank Facebook and social media re-some stories about Dad. But, at the wake today, if you get a chance to tell the grandkids a story about Dad, please do so. I do not want them to feel like they have been short changed or missed out.

Dad was:

• A voice of reason
• A competitor
• He worked hard
• Asked for little
• Received a lot
• He dined with Kings.
• He drank with paupers.
• He was loyal.
• He was honest.
• A man of the highest integrity.

Flo Beckler, a 95-year-old World Booker living in the States said this about Dad on hearing  his passing:

"John Nevin was a giant. John impacted so many of us.  Others are forgotten, but not John. He made an indelible mark."

I will finish up with one of Dad's favourite quotes. He used it a lot in his speeches. It sums him up as well. It is from President Theodore Roosevelt:

"It is not the critic who counts, not the man who points out how the strong may stumble, or where the doer of deeds could have done better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, his face marred by dust and sweat and blood. Who strives valiantly, does and comes up short again and again! … For there is no effort without error or shortcomings. Far better it is, to dare mighty things, to win glorious triumphs, even though checked by failure… Then to rank with those poor souls who neither enjoy or suffer much because they live in the dark abyss that knows neither victory nor defeat!"

Dad, if I could have had as many people admire me, who were admired by you… I would be a happy man!

(Beating his chest and pointing to the heavens) 

I love ya mate!

My brother Stephen (Nevada) put together a photo montage.  Take a look. 

John Nevin - A Life in Pictures

Merry Christmas

Kellie 0:)